Spending time with my Best Friend – Jesus Christ.
As humans, we crave intimacy with others. Friendship is very important to us and is desired at all stages of life, whether we can barely crawl a few short meters or can’t walk without the use of a walker…the need to be with other people, the longing for companionship, never dies.
I know that for myself, this desire has been around for as long as I can remember and unlike some interests and dreams, the wish for a person that I can call my best friend has never died. As a child I would pray for this every night and even now I’ll sometimes ask God “Can you please just send someone?”
Don’t get me wrong–it’s not that I don’t have any friends or good friends at that. Actually, I have many wonderful friends! It’s just that I’ve never really had that one friend – you know the one that you do absolutely everything with? The one who knows you better than you know yourself? The one that is always there for you no matter what? The kind of person you’d mutually call your best friend? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about…
For years I prayed for and dreamed of this kind of friendship. Sometimes I would wonder why it hadn’t happened yet since it seemed like everyone else had their “bff” or “kindred soul.” On occasion I even wondered if I was somewhat abnormal–perhaps too abnormal to find such a friend since I liked to sit around and daydream about the places and people in my books sometimes better than I enjoyed playing outside with my neighbour friends or dressing Barbies with my sister. I always found such comradery with my book friends, things I just didn’t find with other people–Anne Shirley, Mandie Shaw, Nancy Drew and the Pony Pals were always there for me when I needed them, ready to do something fun with me. But they were never enough for me and eventually I grew tired of them, as wonderful as they once had been.
As the years went by, I often forgot about my desire as I became less shy and was able to make more friends. However, there were plenty of times–when someone would introduce me to another person as their “best friend” or when I’d go to some event and two of the girls would be clinging to each other like two peas in a pod–that I would realize that my dream had not yet been fulfilled and that the desire had not died. At these times I would grow restless but then quickly console myself with the fact that I did indeed have friends and that I would be fine. As always though, that was not enough for me…I wanted more, I needed more.
What I wanted and needed I ended up finding last March. The funny thing was that it had really been with me my entire life–in fact, it had been calling and calling to me to be my best friend, it wanted and loved and knew me more than anyone had ever wanted or loved or known me in my entire life, and I had always known of their existence–I just didn’t know that it was the one that was supposed to be the best friend that I desired.
But God was that one for me, He always had been, and finally, I began to see that and I ventured towards making Him my best friend. And slowly but steadily, the loss that I had felt over not having the “normal” kind of best friend and the desire for something that I thought I could never have began to fade and in it’s stead a new feeling of contentment for what I did have and a novel longing for more of it appeared.
While I still have my moments of feeling alone and times of wishing for other, deeper relationships, over all I am happy to have found my true friend, the best friend that I could ever have, the one who made the ultimate sacrifice, the one who loves me more, wants me more and knows me more than anyone else–because He is my potter and I am His clay. And the good news is that everyone and anyone can have that special kind of friendship, the best relationship on earth–all you have to do is ask Him to be yours and believe that you are His.