Sometimes life seems like a straight road with everything perfectly planned out for our benefit. Just as everything seems right and good, we reach a bend and suddenly we become upset, confused, and scared. What we thought we had figured out and what we had been preparing for isn’t going to happen anymore and instead, a new path with struggles and fears lies before us. We are frightened. We cry. We don’t know what to do. We believe that all is lost and we wonder where God is in all of it.
Four months ago today, I was in that exact place, wondering where my perfect dream that I had been leaning on for ever so long had gone and crying out to God for strength. I was devastated because I couldn’t see the road ahead…I could only see the present and the grief that it brought me. I couldn’t imagine that I would be happy again or envision all of the things that I have done since then.
I remembered this place in my life today as I sat in rehearsal for my upcoming production of “Anne of Green Gables” and watched Anne and Gilbert act out the final words. As she tells Gilbert that there is a bend in the road, my memories of four months ago came rushing back to me and I realized that my life since then has been like carrying on after a bend in the road…
I never could have imagined back then, four months ago that I would ever be in this play. No, that wasn’t part of the plan then. The plan then was to get something back…something that I’d lost and felt that I needed. Little did I know that Providence had better plans for me. Even when I sat in the audition 2 weeks later, nervous but contented in my work and the people I had met and the hopes that I had, I did not imagine the fullness of the moment that would come. I was still sad and terrified, worried and confused. I could not comprehend the greatness and beauty of the bend then. No, I didn’t understand the reason for the detour. I couldn’t see how my new destination was actually better than the one that I had once hoped for.
But it is good and it is better. I’ve taken a road that I didn’t expect to take but as I look back, it has definitely benefited me more than the one I thought was laid out for me ever would have. I’m much happier now than I was four months ago and beyond, when I was on that old road of dreams. I’ve improved in various ways from walking the untrodden path. Most importantly, I’ve grown in my relationship with God because the road I’ve walked was exactly what He picked out…a providential bend. And this plan really is so much better than my old one. Of course, it’s not really my plan but God’s and that is why it is so good and so providential.
Yes, God I believe you now…providence does exist and you do work all things out for the good of those who love you. I know this because of what you have shown me in the last four months…the laughter and smiles you have given, the opportunities you have made, the friendships, the learning, the growth, new feelings and better ethics, stronger faith and a better love for others, the conversation about you tonight with a fellow actor who needs you…it was all a providential bend for the better.
Photo Credit: http://www.yourlocalweb.co.uk/cornwall/rumford/pictures/