This is the last post in a three-part series on trusting God and putting our desires aside. To read the first two parts, click here.
‘”God, I just want this too much.”
I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve said those words. Yes, my desires run deep. So deep that I constantly forget that the One who gave them to me has some even better ones in store. I just have to trust.
Sometimes though, that trust is much easier said than done. I remember sitting outside one dark night in the cold, overcome with grief and disappointment, and wondering if God could still hear me. I felt like He’d just taken the last thing that could ever possibly make me happy. “God, what are you doing?” I asked through trembling lips. And there was no answer that I could hear.
But God was still working. No, He didn’t stop. My ears may have been closed, but His hands were busy. I might have had strong desires, but His were stronger. If I could have seen or heard back then in my foolish state, I would have seen and heard great things. I would have watched the unneeded desires fade away, heard the voice of Love that was indeed whispering in my ear, and realized how happy I was with this new direction. God’s desire was at work.
And I remember when I decided on another cold, December night that even though I “couldn’t hear” God, I was just going to trust Him anyway. I had faith, somewhere deep inside. I believed, despite the pain that bit my soul. God was there, even when I was too deaf to hear. And so, I trusted.
Today, I see the fullness of God’s desire and my trust. There have been good conversations, days that just made me smile, and amazing opportunities. I’ve met amazing people and developed deep relationships. I am full of happiness and joy for the life that I have been given. Yet, it isn’t at all what I expected. No, there is no likeness to what I once wanted or thought I needed. That’s because God is better than desire.
God, help me to trust you more. I know you know what you’re doing. I give you my life now. I surrender all. You are so very much better than desire.
- Part 1: All Of My Desires (elizabethsjourneyhome.wordpress.com)