For The Day Is Near

I am a Christian and I love God. I read my bible every morning and pray throughout the day. I attend church and youth group and bible study on a regular basis. And in all that I do, I seek to honour Him. But I have a secret to tell you: sometimes, I just want to be downright sinful.

In no way am I perfect, but I do have standards. And people can tell when they meet me. I’ve been called a “good Christian girl” and people, strangers even, always apologize for swearing in front of me. Boys never pay much attention to me since they know that I won’t flirt back. I have been scoffed at because I don’t date, torn apart for my beliefs on creation, and brushed aside as the “nice girl.” Why do I keep doing what I do?

Sometimes, I just want to branch out from it all. I want to talk and giggle while the youth leader is talking. I want to see what it’s like to chase after boys; sit beside them in bible study, hug them tightly, and jumpย on their back. I want to wear that shirt that I know is too low. I want to get mad at my friends when they hurt me and tell them just how I feel and forget about being merciful and loving. Just once, I feel like doing all of these things. Because it seems like no one really cares about the “nice girl” that I try so hard to be.

I know that it’s not for attention that we are to serve, love, and obey. I seriously do these things for God. I honestly live my life for Him because I love the Lord. But sometimes, I get so tired of being myself. I have worked on my character for so long and everyday, it’s a battle that I don’t usually defeat. And then I find that other people don’t even appreciate it. Not that it was for them, I guess. Still, it hurts and I want to forget about my principles and join everyone else in the fun.

But before I jump in and kill all that God has built, I hear His voice, whispering loudly and clearly. “You were made for better and you shall be so.”

I read His word and I find at last, the affirmation that I have been looking for. This time it comes from the right place and says the right things. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the pure in Heart. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.ย Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love on another. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armour of light. Suddenly, I am encouraged and on fire. I know what I have to do and be and love to do and be…and Who I shall indeed do and be it for.

God is the answer. He is the way, the truth, and the light. It isn’t just a song we sing in Sunday school to pass the time. It isn’t merely what we do to please our parents or impress other people. I love God and He loves me. I want to serve Him because He deserves my praise. And He is happy with my principles and even happier when I surrender to Him. He loves and blesses and affirms me, even when others do not. The night is nearly over, and the day of glory will come soon!

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 5:3-10

Note: I apologize if this post sounded angry or rude. I may delete this post later. This was just how I was feeling today and writing it made me feel better. Thank you for understanding! ๐Ÿ™‚

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6 thoughts on “For The Day Is Near

  1. Elizabeth, I am impressed! While I believe that we should not be religious in our lives, trying too hard to be the puritan person and resist every temptation, we should also empty ourselves from our selfish lifestyles and genuinely serve God by serving our fellow human beings. Do not worry about having a little bit of fun, I am sure God does not want you to live in a cave, but be sure that whatever you do, is for His Glory. The Bible verse that you included in your post is my favorite and I also believe it is the main theme of the Gospel. My blog will give you a better sense of where I am coming from. Be yourself, and trust God’s unconditional love. Take care.

    • Thank you so much, Noel! You have really, really encouraged me! Your comment is a lift to my day!

      I look forward to checking your blog out. I always love to find new blogs!

      God bless!
      Elizabeth

  2. What a wonderful post! From a writer’s perspective, don’t worry about it being “angry” or “rude”…it’s just raw enough. Not overcooked, so to speak. ๐Ÿ˜› From a faith perspective, this holds such inspiration.

    You wrote in this post about being a bit “tired of yourself” sometimes, even if you do seriously want to do things for God. It almost reminds me of this book I once read, “Saving Juliet”…where she at one point writes something loosely to the wording of, “Forget all of this. Something magical has happened to me. I’ve been complaining so much about my life, wishing for a change, that I can barely stand to be myself. This is my chance.” (for the record, I still love that book!) I think we all get a little tired of striving to follow a holy path: after all, we humans do tend to be of the more sinful nature. It’s not fun to be the bigger person all the time. (It’s probably a good thing that, in hindsight, Jesus died for our sins: cause we do tend to mess up a lot!) But even if a person does “stray off the path” a little bit, most everybody returns: still good people. But good people are human. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I am inspired. And I know how you feel, but you keep being beautiful you because the day is near. Hope is here! This post gives me a lot of encouragement. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Love you!

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