I’ve been thinking about life lately and wondering where mine is going. What is my calling? Who am I supposed to be and become? What am I to do? Where am I meant to go? God, please tell me.
I’m tired right now. I’ve been performing in a show all week and my energy feels drained right now from singing, dancing, crying, and perfecting. I thought this was my calling…to be an actress. Right now, I honestly don’t know.
Mary, what did you think of your calling? It wasn’t to be an actress or a writer or teacher or anything I’ve ever thought of. It was to be a mother. The mother of the son of God.
What did you think when Gabriel came to you? Deep down in your heart, what was your feeling?
How did you tell your mother and father? What did you say to Joseph?
Did you cry in bed when they didn’t believe you? Did you ask God why He had chosen you for the calling?
For the calling wasn’t easy. You were called to rejection, shame, hardship, and strife. But you followed through. You trusted and you did what God asked.
And I wonder, can I be like you, Mary? It’s Christmas now and I’m thinking of you as I do my vocal warm-ups and spray my hair and try to look hurt when Scrooge rejects me in my scene. You had a calling, too. It was different from mine. Much different. But I have a calling from God, too.
I don’t know exactly what mine is yet. I’m still looking and wondering and trying to figure it out. I do know that the calling, whatever it is, won’t be easy. It’ll be hard. I’ll cry and want to quit at times. But if I fulfill the calling, God will be glorified.
And you glorified God, Mary, when you took the calling He gave you so long ago.
My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the might one has done great things for me–
holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts,
He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things, but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things, but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers.
Mary’s Song, Luke 1: 46-55