The path of life is a strange one. It really is. For the first ten years or so, it was mundane, regular, and happy. Nothing new or strange ever really happened. Then there was a shift. It was a slight one at first, though it rocked my little world. After that, it was just one shift after another until you find me at this place — shifted, a bit older, not much wiser and utterly confused.
People say that the books I love like “Jane Eyre” and “Wuthering Heights” are overly dramatic and unreal. I used to agree since I’d never been a governess who was almost tricked into marrying a married man or a girl who seemed to go crazy when her childhood friend left. But now I strongly disagree with those people. Life is strange. It is odd, unexpected, and downright crazy. Life is not like a sweet little child’s story-book. No, it’s more like one of those old gothic romance novels.
But don’t call me an expert on life because of that. No, I’m far from knowing it all or even much. The more twists and the more turns in life, the more I learn. Yet, the more I am changed and the more I grow and become myself, the less I seem to know about it all. The old promises, strong-held ideals, and whimsical dreams are thrown out the door and I wonder who I am and what I am doing and what life really is about.
When I was little, I wanted to breed horses and teach riding. Now, I haven’t even touched a horse in almost five years. About six months ago, I held ideals and made promises about how to conduct myself properly. Today, my opinion has changed and I am going against some of those old “morals.”I thought that I would go to university in September, but now I’m considering waiting until January or doing something totally different. I’ve yearned to go back to Mexico since my first trip, but as another one approaches I’m leaning towards the possibility of not going. I expected this month to be dull as the first month of the year usually is for me. Instead, it’s rained with joy and sorrow, excitement and confusion.
Life is unexpected. You can’t plan for anything. You can hope, but even those hopes will eventually change. Life changes. It is odd, surprising, and just, plain crazy. And it sure isn’t a nice, little storybook.
One thing that I cannot forget is God. My faith has been tested and the answers are true. I know that although I change quicker than the seasons in the year, He never does. I believe in Him. I trust His judgement. Well, I guess I am learning to trust it. I am coming to understand that He has crazy plans for my life. I am realizing that they are plans I cannot see or know right now or ever, yet they are good, wonderful, and right plans.
Yes, life is confusing and crazy but God is good.
- His Plans Are Next (elizabethsjourneyhome.wordpress.com)