Pondering The Beauty & Ashes

January, what a month you’ve been. As a child and even at the beginning of this month, I always looked forward to you with grimace. Back then you meant work after play and boredom after the fun of Christmas. To me, January has always been the dullest, most boring month of the year.
That is, until this January. God likes to surprise us, I guess and He did just that with my month. He gave me joy in a way I’d never experienced it before and it was wonderful. Amidst that beauty, I watched dear friends struggle and I wondered how I could be so happy when they were not. I faced decisions about my future that totally “changed” it and left me wondering where on earth I am going. I had a sad encounter with the rules of the game that hurt me so long ago. There was peace, joy, tears, laughter, love, anger, confusion, and splendor. There was beauty and there were ashes, all at once.

I know that I didn’t write much about the specifics of all these events. You’re probably in the dark about most of this, unless you know me personally. The circumstances of this month have been private for the most part. Some of them have been downright confusing. I can tell you that it’s been ugly and bonito at once, like a beautiful rose sprinkled with ash.

And that is where you find me today. I’ve been humbled and changed in just the first month of 2012. Who could have guessed? I certainly didn’t. When I wrote this post about newness, I had no idea that the newness would come so quickly or strangely. Now you find me pondering it all. Today, I’ll read through my books of “sweet everyday things” and diary to find the joy and look out the window at the rain and think on the hardship. I’m pondering the beauty and the ashes.


5 thoughts on “Pondering The Beauty & Ashes

  1. Isaiah 61:3
    And provide for those who grieve in Zion—
    to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
    the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
    and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
    They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the LORD
    for the display of his splendor.

    Just stumbled upon your blog. I love what I have already read and know that as I continue to read your words I will find wisdom, insight, understanding . . . beyond your years. Your post reminded me of this verse – I have to believe that God is able to turn ashes into something beautiful. . that mourning . . . that times of struggle and despair can turn into joy. Thank you for sharing so beautifully.

  2. Elizabeth,
    Do you think you could put the rss feed widget on your blog, so I can follow it by rss feed?
    Thanks so much,

  3. I love this! God is so beautiful! I am glad to hear about what God has been teaching you this month and continue to look forward to the next eleven months with you and more.

    Love You!

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