Yesterday, I admitted that I dislike Mondays. I don’t really know why. I guess the weekend is over and suddenly my time is not my own. I have other commitments. School is not just a thing that I “could” or “should” do, but a reality. And Mondays bring me that reality in full force with a load of extra activities on top. I just don’t like them very much.
Yesterday, I was especially grumpy. It wasn’t my worst day. In fact, a lot of things had gone fine. I even entered the day feeling productive with one completed English assignment under my belt by 8:00 AM. But I wasn’t happy. Even in the evening, when they day was almost over, I felt disheartened.
Then it struck me. I was worrying about school. The fact that money doesn’t grow on trees was eating my spirit. I was wishing that I could have done this and not done that. I had forgotten about Jesus and that He is my joy.
My thoughts wandered back to my day. It hadn’t been that bad, even if it was a Monday. There had been good moments. I had smiled some. I’d enjoyed an email conversation with my English teacher about Shakespeare. A student’s offer to get something for me in Spanish class had startled and encouraged me. Left over sushi for lunch and cheese cake out were both treats. A once dreaded voice lesson had proved to be better than expected. But despite all these good things, I had forgotten Jesus. Because of that, my happiness was only temporary.
I realized that when I forget Jesus, he has to bring me back through those little things in life. The student that makes me smile or the English teacher who takes an interest in what I enjoy give me glimpses of what I’ve lost. Temporary happiness isn’t enough to live on though. I must find my true joy in Jesus.
So, as always, I’m trying joy again. I won’t look for joy in human pursuits because those will always disappoint. I will not wait for joy to randomly happen because those are temporary. Instead, I’ll find my joy in Jesus and let Him do the rest.