Birthdays come and go and with them we make wishes. As we blow out the candles, we think of something that we want more than anything. One year, I wished for a horse. Another year, I wished to marry someone. No matter what, my desire was deep and I hoped beyond hope that God would fulfill it.
Several months ago, I read the book of Samuel for the first time. There, I met Hannah, a lovely woman with a heart for God. There was only one problem: she yearned for a child, but had not been able to have one. When I thought about that, every birthday wish I’d made looked silly. Even the deepest desire of my heart seemed to pale in comparison.
But the story does not end there. Hannah prayed fervently and trusted God completely. The Lord answered Hannah’s prayer with the gift of a son named Samuel. In return, Hannah gave God’s blessing back to Him.
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his life he will be given over to the Lord.
1 Samuel 1:27-28
Back in September, when I first read Samuel, there was something in my life that I wanted more than anything. And just like Hannah, I was very unsure as to how God would answer my prayers. At the time, I didn’t fully believe that He would do what I wanted. But Hannah’s story made me realize, that God is truly the best at answering prayers.
So I started praying for my own “Samuel.” No, not a baby. It was something quite different than that. I’m not going to say what it was, but I called it my “Samuel” because of Hannah. I gave it over to God that night in September. I told Him that I would give my “Samuel” back every time he gave him to me.
It’s been almost a year now. There were good days and there were bad days. I had several moments where I forgot the whole “Samuel” thing. Many times, I didn’t give him back because I just didn’t know how.
Recently, God reminded me of this passage. I read it again and again. I decided to surrender my “Samuel.” I said, “Lord, your will be done.” Again, there were good days and bad ones. But God taught me to pray like I’ve never prayed before. He showed me that His word is real and there. He made me believe that my dreams are worth fighting for, but that ultimately, His are better.
These last few months and weeks have been full of confusion. I still don’t have all the answers. But God has shown me that I can give Him my “Samuel” through surrender. Now, I know to never underestimate the power of prayer or the Word. So I’ll be praying for my “Samuel” and trusting God the whole way through.
There is no one holy like the Lord;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.
1 Samuel 2:2