Forrest Of Lies

Sometimes I walk with a head that hangs in shame through a forrest of people who hate me. It’s a difficult road, full of thorns and twigs. And it’s dark in the forrest — so dark that I can’t find my way out. The forrest of lies consumes me until I want to cry.

In the forrest, I’m never good enough. I’m ugly, stupid, and not likable. No one wants to be my friend in the forrest of lies. Because who would want to stand next to a failure like me?

I’m bad and wrong in the forrest. I’m too ambitious for a female. In the forrest, they denounce what I want to do with my life and who I would like to be. I’m utterly wrong in the forrest. I can’t be successful there. My dreams of university and a career are scoffed at. I’m told that I need a man to do anything worth with my life. A man and a lot of kids. I am worth nothing in the forrest of lies.

I am sinful beyond compare there. My clothes are immodest even though I try so hard. Certain things I do and ways I act are just plain terrible. My actions in the past are unforgivable. I’m not good enough for grace in the forrest even though grace was made just for me. I’m never pure in the forrest of lies.

The forrest is demeaning, rude, and shallow. I do not like to live there and I will not let myself stay there any longer. It’s full of ridiculous expectations that I could never meet. Perfectionists without an ounce of grace pound my heart to pieces. And that is why I call it the forrest of lies.

But at the end of the forrest, there is a garden. It’s a perfect, beautiful place. I go there to be uplifted and refreshed. And in the garden, there is a gardener who calls me by name. Although He is perfect, the gardener doesn’t mind that I am not. For He has enough grace to share the beauty of his flowers with me. So I’ll leave this forrest of lies behind and go to the garden. Are you coming with me?

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4 thoughts on “Forrest Of Lies

  1. I LOVE this metaphor–it made this post both simple and powerful. “I do not like to live there and I will not let myself stay there any longer.” Amazing, Liz!

  2. This is a beautiful post. I am always so glad to hear from someone who recognizes these lies for what they are. I’m not sure what, if any, experience you have the the ‘Biblical patriarchy’ movement or its offshoots (stay-at-home daughters, ’emotional purity’, and teachings about hyper-modesty) but I feel that you have been through similar issues. Anyways, there are a lot of young women dealing with this stuff (I’m one of them)–as you know, there IS hope. Our God is a God of love, mercy and forgiveness. Jesus said He will never send away someone who comes to Him–that was a very encouraging verse for me in difficult times past!

    • Again, thank you for your lovely comment, Bethany. 🙂 It really means a lot to me. I always have trouble writing these posts so the feedback that I get from others really helps. Sometimes I fee like giving up on this kind of thing, but when I see a comment like yours I just can’t.

      I have a bit of experience with the patriarchy movement, though nothing extreme (thankfully). I have heard of others who have endured extreme abuse in the name of the Lord who I love and that truly breaks my heart. That, along with the slight experience that I have with it, makes me want to write and reveal the lies.

      Thank you for your encouraging words and that verse. Even though I know that there is hope through Jesus, I need to be reminded of it every now and then. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting! I will definitely check out your blog sometime. 🙂

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