Who I Am

This summer, I wanted to make a difference. I knew I’d be meeting new people and seeing others more. I was going to represent Christ to them. I wanted to show them love, kindness, compassion, and God. But honestly, I failed.

I know that is a depressing way to start a blog post, but it is the truth. I didn’t live this summer like I wanted to live it. I was irritable, angry, and upset with family members. I barely reached out to others. And once again, there was no great transformation to Christ like I’ve always longed to be apart of.

But it’s really so easy. So why haven’t I done it?

Yes, it’s easy. Easier than I thought. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I suppose I got tired and stressed and imagined my tasks were much too hard. But the first step is in who you are to others. The first step is simply friendliness, pleasantness, love.

I’ve been taking a driving class for the past few weeks. I went into it with a slightly bad attitude. Yes, I wanted to drive. Oh, I wanted to drive! That’s why I was there after all. I participated in the class, listened to the instructor, and took notes right from the start. But I told myself that it would be very difficult to make friends in the class because surely they’d all be much different from me.

Honestly, I am ashamed at this thought. Sure, a lot of them are quite different from me. However, I’m sure I could find some similarities if I looked. But it’s not about similarities. It’s about having differences and bridging those gaps. It’s about showing love to someone you wouldn’t normally love.

So I tried a different attitude last class. I had never been rude, but I decided to be better than polite that night. I walked in with a smile and talked pleasantly with the instructor for a minute. I asked the girl next to me how she was. I noticed we had the same flats — not so different after all. I tried to smile at the others as they came in. I made conversation with a girl after class and asked another if she wanted us to wait while her parents came. Not much, but it was a little. You may not be able to hand out Bibles and convert everyone in a driving class, but it is still a mission field. Everywhere you go is. And like always, it matters who you were.

I’m going to university a week from Saturday. I’ll be there for the next four years of my life, but I don’t want a bad start. No one knows me there. There are no embarrassing stories, odd memories, or insecurities that people might have in their fore front. It’s like a fresh start. I can be anyone I want to be.

I want to go and represent Christ, however hard that may and will be. I know it won’t be any easier there than it has been in the past. But I’m going to try harder and get up faster when I fall. Because it matters who you are, so I want the image of Christ to be who I am.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…

Philippians 2:5

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6 thoughts on “Who I Am

  1. I’m not religious at all and never will be. However I admire immensely your desire for self-improvement and believe that many people could benefit from such an attitude.

    Enjoy university, I’m approaching the halfway point and it’s passing by in a blur of equations, frantically scribbled notes, unpredictable scenarios and fantastic people 🙂

    • Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I love meeting new readers. 🙂

      I hope the rest of your university studies go well. What are you majoring in? It’s good to know that post secondary life is good for the most part. 🙂 Thank you for your compliments and encouragement.

      • I;m studying for an eventual Masters in Chemical Engineering (no majors since I’m Scottish, so from the UK). Through it though I’ve worked in Germany and currently studying for a year in Singapore on exchange. Just remember to take all the opportunities that you’re offered that you want, however scary 🙂 Also, don’t worry about fitting in. The only thing that connects people at university is academic intellect, which has little or no correlation to how people are as a person. Every type of person will be represented there, from the biggest asshole to the shyest shut-away to the most interesting person you’ll ever meet.

        What are you majoring in then?

  2. Best wishes to you as you go off to college! I’m sure it will be a transforming time as God unfolds His plan for you. Just be real, be exactly who you are and let God do the transforming work. Let prayer be your guide and wait on God as well!

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