Tonight, we’re leaving each other behind. Tomorrow you’ll be back in the archives of my mind, referred to as “last year.” It’ll sound weird at first–as always, I’ll have to get used to writing a different numeral.
You’ve been a good year, I have to admit. You had your down moments; life wasn’t always pleasant. But then, what year is ever perfect? You weren’t, but I certainly learned a lot during our time together.
I learned that even when we’ve come out of pain and we think its all fixed, life can still be shattered again. I learned that brokeness is part of life. I broke not once but many times with you.
I tasted sweet love, waited a lot, and wondered when it would all make sense. It never really did.
I tearfully put one dream aside and chased after another, hoping that I was right.
I’ve found a whole new world in the last few months of you. I feel like I have completely changed. I have new goals, dreams, fears, and prayers. I don’t know how to leave the old ones behind or if I should or what any of this is at all. I’m not show how to grow up and I wish that maybe we could go back a few months to when we first met and I was just seventeen.
As a sentimental child, I often felt sad over the ends of years. I have to say that I’ve abandoned that practice since “growing up.” You were a good year, yes, but I’m happy to leave the pain and bad memories behind. I want to move on and keep on learning. But don’t worry—I’ll always remember you, 2012, as the beginning of the rest of my life.
God, what is in store for 2013? Thank you for the road I’m leaving behind. Thank you for the joy. Thank you for teaching me through the struggles. Most of all, thank you for being here with me.