New Years Every Day

A few days ago we welcomed 2013 in, with shouts and tambourines.

As much as I liked last year, its good to start a new one. There is something so refreshing about leaving the old behind and running towards something new and different. Somehow, I’ve always felt that a new year buries the old wounds and scars, at least a little bit and offers room for greater change, growth, and joy. I see each January as a new beginning of sorts.

But what does that new beginning mean?

For some people it means gym memberships and diets as they endeavour to shed the holiday pounds. Many have goals for work or school — a promotion or better grades. Still others nobly strive to improve their relationships with their spouses, children, and God. My own goals or “resolutions” are to be more organized, do my very best in school, rekindle my trust in God, and to develop an attitude of joy. Every year, we make promises to work harder, love others, and live better.

But are these resolutions realistic? Will we actually lose the weight and gain the love? Or are these just the same empty promises that we make every January 1st? A hope to be better, a dream of a fuller life… but is it real? Because I’m tired of scams and shallow decisions. I want something real; I desire to do something worth doing.

We all have good intentions when it comes to new years, but the truth of the matter is, that by January 5th we’re all worn out at the treadmill. Distraction overtakes us, relationships are harder than we think, our joy is quickly lost. And so we go back to the way that we were and decide we’ll do it all “next year.”

But what if we didn’t give up? What would happen if we erased the list of goals and started from scratch? What would happen if we resolved that every day is new years day. What if we gave ourselves a chance to mess up and start fresh every morning?

I have a list of things that I want this year, saved in my head — I may even write them down when I have the chance. I’ll come back to this list throughout the year. I will endeavour to live out my goals and accomplish great things; I will also act upon new discoveries and ideas, as I meet them. But most of all, I won’t let one slip-up ruin my path. I want to live as if every day is a new year, full of hope, forgiveness, and new beginnings; that is my resolution this year.

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What are your resolutions for 2013?

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The Passion

Ever since I can remember, I have loved to act. From the time I learned to read, I was reading everything aloud with different “character” voices. One of my favourite childhood past times was acting out cherished stories with my sister. I even turned home school PE class into theatre time with the other girls. Let the boys play hockey! I thought. Acting is much more fun!

At eight-years-old, all of the trouble I got into for skipping PE class paid off. I got to be in a play! It was a real, live musical in a big theatre with a bunch of other kids. And I got one line! I enjoyed those first ten months of rehearsing like nothing else. I was thrilled. Everyday, I practiced like crazy in the living room. I loved everything from the read throughs to the beautiful, purple dress with puffed sleeves that I got to wear. After the first show, I told my mom, “I could do this a thousand more times!”

Now, almost ten years later, I love theatre with the same passion. Although I’m not as energetic as I was at eight, the love inside of my has not died. No matter how many hobbies and interests I start and give up, theatre remains on my schedule. Despite the busyness of life, I always find the time to learn my lines. Because nothing gives me the same thrill as being on stage does.

Sometimes, I try to crush this passion. Don’t ask me why. It’s a strange thing that I do. I guess there is this fear that I’m not good enough. There’s a worry that this isn’t right. Of late, I’ve often wondered what kind of place acting will have in my life after highschool. I’ve heard the term starving artist and I’m not so sure that I want to be one. I’d like to travel, but I don’t know if I want to make that my life. Most of all, I know what the entertainment world promotes and I know that it is not for me. I can’t and I won’t compromise myself or my values. So where does that leave me?

I have to say that some days I’m downright confused about it all. There have even been times in my life where I’ve given up. In the end, I find my love again because there is nothing like the thrill of doing a scene. I can’t think of any other place I’d rather be than on the stage. When I say the lines and they become my own words and I am the character and it all seems real, I feel so happy. It’s like I’m flying. It is amazing.

“God gave you this gift.”

“You should be an actress, Elizabeth.”

“He is going to use you so much in acting. He already is.”

“You could be an actress if you wanted to.”

I hear these voices. I feel these feelings. Is it God or is it me? Is it the truth or my imagination?

I don’t know the future. I’m not really sure what God wants from me yet. All I know is that He has given me a passion for theatre. So I’m just going to pray and wait and act. I know He’ll show me what to do when the time is right. Yes, let’s just wait and see. Maybe I will do it a thousand more times yet!